The loss of a loved one is somehow mitigated by relatives and friends during the wake. But it is after the funeral that makes death a shattering experience to those who are left behind. Friends and families from all over quickly flock to the orphaned to make the initial shock more bearable. However, once the funeral services are over, the real fight for sanity begins. This is the time when the bereaved really need something to hold on to since they are essentially left alone to nurse their feelings of loss. If you are in such a situation, you can use the following life-strategies to help you cope with death after everyone has left the funeral.
Share Your Feelings With Others
Going it alone will not help you cope with your grief in the long term. It is better if you could share your grief with your closest family member or your closest friend. Relying on others who you know are really after your good will be your best way of coping with death after the funeral services. But what if you don’t really have that much closeness with a family member or a friend? If that’s the case, you can turn to a professional bereavement service such as your local mental health practitioner, your GP or your local hospice.
Be wary if your grief causes you to have emotions that adversely affect the rest of your life. If after sufficient time and still your grief makes it difficult for you to get out of bed, cause you to neglect your professional responsibilities, or makes you feel you can’t go on living now that your loved one is dead, perhaps it is time for you to ask for professional help. The important thing is that you have another person who will be able to serve as a compassionate “ear” for all your grief.
Don’t Expect That Everything Will Turn Back To Normal Again
The death of a loved one brings a certain amount of chaos to those who are left behind. So, you can’t expect that everything will be normal again after the funeral. Accepting this fact will de-stress your life effectively after every one has left the funeral services. You must allow yourself time to grieve. A permanent change has come into your life; therefore, your future will not be the same as before. If there are other family members who are also grieving, expect tensions to arise. Not everyone grieves the same ways as you do and accepting this fact will somehow make the process of coping less stressful.
Choose The Things To Keep And Things To Let Go
It is only natural for you to hang on to the things of your departed loved one. In the future, they will provide you fond memories of him or her. However, it is impossible for you to hold on to all of his or her stuff. You really need to decide on which ones to keep and which ones to let go. In that vein, this principle also applies to the memories of your dearly departed. It is better to hold on to items that remind you of good things about the dearly departed and let go of the stuff that evokes negative memories.
Patiently Work Your Way Through
The first few weeks after the funeral service will be more difficult. These are the times when your grieving will really start. And these are the times when you need to give yourself more time to cope with your loss. Be patient with yourself. You really need time to grieve. It is better to let out your feelings of loss at this time. If you suppress them, they may explode and cause unwanted consequences later. During this time, it would be good if you will have your closest friend or family member at your side to serve as your “crying shoulder.”
Be Informed About The Nature Of Grief
There are many factors that define how long your grief over the death of your loved one will last. These factors include the quality of your relationship with the departed, the unresolved issues in your relationship, the personal or vicarious trauma involved in the death, and a lot more. In this regard, your grieving time, according to some sociologists, will normally last for a period of six to 18 months, although some say it may last up to four years. Knowing this will help you ascertain if your grief is just normal or it is already becoming a personal problem.