How to Cope With Your 1st Mother’s Day When Mom Just Passed Away?
Celebrating your very first Mother’s Day when your family just recently concluded the funeral services is undoubtedly a painful experience. It may even be more heart-rending than other holidays like New Year or Christmas spent without a loved one. Why? Because Mom’s Day is especially for her, making your loss appear more glaring.
When it comes to first celebrations after a death, emotions tend to be raw, heavy, and messy. Mother’s Day is even more melancholic because it is a day that is supposed to revolve around the role she played in your life. Sadly, she is not present, and coping can feel seemingly impossible, especially after a loss. However, you must do your best to get through this holiday in an emotionally and mentally healthy state.
Pretending this day is just an ordinary one and ignoring it may only hurt you more. Bottling up your emotions could eventually lead to a future meltdown. That’s why it’s important to honor this annual celebration because even though she’s no longer physically present, her spirit lives on in you, her family. Here are some ideas for Mother’s Day to help you cope and celebrate at the same time.
Continue With Family Traditions
Holidays are a day for embracing family traditions. Perhaps, you make your mom breakfast in bed or take her out to her favorite cafe for waffles and espresso. This could have been a ritual for you and other family members. Some of these places could already be in your family’s list of favorites so once you’ve discovered them, why would you drastically change things?
Instead, you may consider continuing the tradition because doing routine activities provides a sense of normalcy which you need in these difficult times. Doing so may feel very painful without mom, but going on usual jaunts and old hang outs is one way to pay homage to the memories you made with her. Furthermore, bringing everyone together to relive family traditions is better than being alone. Sharing experiences will help ease loneliness.
Shop for Presents for Other Members of the Family
Typically, most people celebrate Mother’s Day by buying mom presents, taking her out to lunch, or selecting a sweet greeting card. Even though your mom is no longer around, it doesn’t mean that this tradition has to end. Instead, continue with the spirit of giving by showering your other family members with gifts. Surprise them with meaningful tokens that they will love.
The act of selecting the items can provide a brief reprieve from your sorrow. Besides, choosing a gift for them means you are thinking of them in your trying times. This creates a positive atmosphere, which can be very contagious. It may make them smile and alleviate the pain, especially on this day wherein they miss mom a little bit more.
Plant a Memorial Garden
People usually honor their mom with flowers on Mother’s Day. Visiting her grave and offering funeral flowers can be a substitute while listening to memorial songs. If you want to make it a happier occasion, you can plant her a memorial garden. Although planting flowers next to her grave may be a great idea, you must first check with the cemetery director if it’s allowed.
Alternatively, you can plant her a garden right in your own backyard. The month of May is the perfect time to plant flowers because of the pleasant weather. If you want something lasting, you can opt for perennial plants that require little attention or even a tree. These plants offer a sense of permanence that can comfort your soul. At the same time, they provide positive contributions to the environment by providing oxygen and filtering out pollutants. This is definitely one sweet and productive way to honor your mother. Besides, studies show that “earthing” or touching the ground is therapeutic and healing.
Carry on With Her Activities
Does your mother support any charities or non-profit organizations? Continue with her advocacy and let this be her legacy. You can continue to give back to your community in her memory. Besides, volunteering, even if only for a day, is one way to infuse positive vibes into your life. This is something that can heal your broken heart.
Use this worthwhile gesture to divert your attention and assuage your longing for your mother. Working with a charity your mom supported is a sentimental and meaningful way to honor her this Mother’s Day. More importantly, working with the underprivileged sector will help you realize that in spite of your mother’s death, you still have so many blessings in life to feel grateful for.
Be Open to Making New Traditions
Most people who have lost a loved one will say that the first holidays are usually the hardest to get through. Without your mother, you have a new sense of normal. Hence, you could try to establish new traditions to help you cope with your grief and loss. Though it may be difficult at first, the passage of time can foster healing. As future Mother’s Day celebrations come, your wounds will be less raw and it will be easier for you to celebrate.
Of course, trying new things doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten your mom at all. Fond memories will find a way to resurface, even if you carry on with new traditions. All of these things allow you to carry your mother’s spirit into the future. Even if you cannot celebrate this day with her physical body, her spirit lives in you always.